Women are routinely trapped in situations in which their financial security is intertwined with their partner’s. In these situations, to flee an abusive relationship means practically starting life over with limited to no financial resources. Some are forced to decide between losing their financial stability and trying to navigate and “manage” the cycles of abuse.

Whether it’s fear for children’s safety or fear of never being able to see them again if a woman decides to leave, the victim’s exit strategies can very often be complicated by the presence of children in an abusive relationship. Often a woman will have to choose between keeping her children safe and happy and securing her own personal safety and independence. It’s important to realize that children who grow up in abusive family dynamics are at heightened risk for long-term mental health issues.

Many victims of intimate-partner violence have been conditioned to believe that they deserve the abuse they sustain. These harmful and deeply misguided beliefs prompt a sort of codependency in which they feel as though they’re only complete if they’re keeping their partner happy—at all costs. Perpetrators of intimate-partner violence have a way of pinpointing and exploiting emotionally vulnerable people; however, these dynamics can also start and strengthen in relationships as time goes on.

Many victims of intimate-partner violence are legitimately ashamed of their abusive relationship. They feel that, even though they’re strong, independent people in other aspects of their lives, they have abdicated their power and personal autonomy for the sake of maintaining a relationship. This fear of judgment stops them from coming forward and getting the help they need.